Phil (name change) is your typical college young man, from a nice home, nice family, good upbringing. He, like most all college guys, likes to be with his friends, play his music, have a little party.
Christmas, 2009, almost changed his life permanently.
One of his friends, Drake (name changed) was having a Christmas party. There were a lot of friends from high school there who had come home from college to enjoy the Holidays with family and friends.
Among the usual crowd or "groopies" (as someone referred to this group of ladies) was Missy (name changed). Missy and several of her girlfriends like to party. They are young. Don't hold their liquor well and don't know when to say "No." - to anything.
"Missy and her friends are younger than we are, but they come to all the parties just to hang on to the older guys - guys that are my age or a little older." said Kathy (name changed)
Another guy, Matt, says, "they just come around to get laid. And, it's not like you gotta ask for it - they are like all over you."
Phil was about to leave the party when the girlfriend of the host came out to tell him that Missy really liked him and wanted him to stay.
Missy had been drinking 151 and chasing it with beer. Missy is a ,petite, thin build young lady.
Witnesses stated that Missy was all over Phil like "a dog in heat". She groped Phil in front of several. She planted a lip locking kiss on him that would send any normal young man into a tetesterone rise in the Levis.
Missy led Phil into an empty bedroom. According to Phil, she never said "no" she asked for more. Their little escapade was interupted when the owner of the bedroom started banging on the door.
Peggy wasn't just banging she was shouting! Peggy called Missy every vulgar name that was possibly written for having brought some man into her bedroom without asking to have sex with him! Peggy paid the rent on that room. It was her bed, her sheets, her clothes that Missy ended up wearing.
Missy went out the back door to the yard area - she was crying - Peggy was still screaming profanities.
Missy had no clue how she got home that night. The next morning she awoke with someone else's clothes on (Peggy's) and the cell phone she had didn't belong to her. Where were her clothes? her phone? "Oh my GOD, what have I done now?"she asked herself.
Missy phoned a friend, who's number was listed in the cell phone that she had by mistake. Denise answered on the other end. "What happened to my clothes?" Missy asked.
"You don't remember?" asked Denise
"No, where are my clothes?" a frantic and crying Missy asked.
"Girl, you messed up last night. You got caught with Phil in Peggy's room and she was about to beat the heck out of you." Denise answered.
Missy showered and went back to where the party was. She asked Drake to get her clothes and cell phone for her. He did.
Later that morning, Missy was driving her sister, Susie, to work. Missy began to cry and shared with Susie what happened or what she had been told about the night before.
"We've got to tell Mom" Susie said.
Mom was told. Mom immediately takes Missy to the hospital where a rape kit was done on her. Yes, she had had sex. Was it willing? "I don't remember, I think, yes, maybe. I was drunk." Missy admits. Law enforcement was called.
Phil receives a phone call from a Sheriff's detective. He is smart enough to tell his dad what is going on.
The dad phones an attorney friend who attends church with them. The attorney, Mike, ends up calling me.
I phoned, and recorded at least ten witnesses - all stated pretty much the same thing -
"she's a whore", "she's a drunk", "she's a trouble maker", "she came on to him", "we don't really like her at our parties but she shows up anyway" "she came on to him" "she was all over him" "she grabbed his nuts and was squeezing them"
When I inquired what type of guy Phil was - not one person had anything negative to say about Phil. "he's a stand up guy" "he won't lie to you" "he's a great musician".
Missy later came to the law office and signed an affidavit stating she did not want to press charges nor pursue legal action against Phil.
This case had the potential of ruining a young man's life. Many times those accused of sexual assault, even falsely accused, will try to talk to law enforcement and 'fix it" or "tell their side of the story". They never have the forethought to hire an attorney to protect them of their constitutional rights.
Girls like Missy are everywhere - looking for a good lay, a good time, a free ride. They drink to be equal or to appear grown. They are only asking for problems for themselves later down the road.
I admonished Phil rather severely about having sex outside a marriage. I know most of my admonishments may have fallen on deaf ears. But, I do believe that he and his friends may have learned some very valuable lessons - especially how easily it is for a minor girl to get them in trouble with the law to where they would be looking at 2-20 in prison.
I also believe that they learned to choose their friends more wisely.
As for Missy, I told her to keep my phone number - just in case she ever found herself drunk somewhere and needed a way to get home. Most kids don't want to call a parent when they've messed up - so just in case she ever needed help - I asked her to call me.
Phil and Missy are no different than most college kids feeling their wild oats from my day in college. However, the laws are so much more stringent, harsh, and can easily ruin a young person's life.
I hope that everyone concerning this learned something - perhaps - not to prank around with just anyone, perhaps to know who you are screwing and why, perhaps not to drink when you know you can't hold your liquor, perhaps to keep your mouth shut and get a lawyer. I would hope that the girls' learned to keep their legs crossed and not just sleep with anyone and everyone. As it is, Missy precarious reputation is forever engraved in the minds of those 20-30 people at that party.
I turned in my reports, my cassette tapes and other information to Mike - and at the close of the day - I felt good. I had helped save a young man from having his life ruined by a girl who had played the wrong song. She went to the dance, but the music ended long before she knew it.